This is Good

Retrieved by Pat Darnell


Catholic: It's the new Protestant! [SOURCE]
So much better than I thought it was gonna be! It's the New York Dolls video, Dance Like a Monkey "Cmon shake your little monkey hips, my pretty little creationist!" Via Hellbound Alleee.

Double Zoinks! Here is another great video: "Creation Science 101" by Roy Zimmerman. (Complete with ape noises!) This is a great song! Via my friend George, who never reads my blog because he is a total piss-ant.

The Bible Summarized by a Smartass has sprinted past the The 12 Minor Prophets, and promises to enter first leg of the New Testament with the Gospel According to Matthew! Time to mark your calendar for the main event.

I thought for sure that this had to be a joke, but no - it's on the level. It's the AMAZING! "Threat Alert" Jesus! The website is merely a graphic of the packaging, and nothing more. The text is extra-creepy funny, in a homespun but passionately credulous sort of way. "This incredible invention receives signals directly from the Dept. of Homeland Security anywhere within the continental U.S. and changes color the moment the national threat level is updated." According to the package, you will be protected through the "miracle" of technology! I am sure that it is updated via airport radio just like the new clocks are, but still..."Threat Alert" Jesus! Yipes!

A whole website devoted to Chocolatey Christian Goodness. Sorry, after filling the most recent Mark Foley order, they are all out of the Large Communion Boy Lollipops.

This is a teachers aid, the Visual Kit for The Blood of Jesus. You know, for the kids! Among the things that you get for $124 smackers are a Crown of Thorns, One Crucifixion Nail, Cat of Nine Tails Whip, Life-size Latex Heart Model, Cardboard Ark of the Covenant, and Instructions to Make High Priest Costume. My favorite is the "Chef's cap for High Priest's Crown." That would never look silly, right? via grow-a-brain

Because everyone knows that Jesus is all about winning at the slot machines and crap tables, for only 9.95 you can get your own Faith Chips.

Go and watch Jesus Swimming. Yeah, I know. That's all he does. OK, after doing that, guess what the Jesus saves bank does. Wasn't that fun?

I love this! Archie's Parables, (pdf) a Christian comic book. Riverdale High? Only Christians need apply! Go to page 18-19 for the official dating survey. Among questions like "Does Archie need a new car?" And "Should Archie forget about Veronica?" they sneak in about 20 god related questions, like "Do you believe that god know how we really feel inside?" There is some great stuff! At one point the only way that Jughead can only fall in love with a girl is by imagining that she is a hot dog (!), and Dilton would rather read a book than date a girl (!!). Is this really the message that we want to send our kids? Veronica = Bad, Betty = Good, of course. At one point everybody talks about who they would like to date, and Betty says that she wants to date god. Jeepers! Talk about stiff competition!

If only I could travel to a world where women and dinosaurs coexist. With the science of creationism, you dreams have come true! Check out CSICOP, the Observer, and New York Times. From No Smoking in the Skull Cave's messages.

This is what happened to Neocon Jesus! Perhpas the greatest Easter image yet, The Passion of the Peeps. Via Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen.

It looks like this link has changed since I last looked at it. It used to be about how to How to Stop an Alien Abduction, now it is just about Jesus and Aliens. Yay! Half Jeusus, Half X-Files. They also cover exorcism!

Not quite Father Guido Sarducji's "find the Pope in the Pizza," nor is it "where's Waldo." But the old internet standard, "Where is Jesus?" is always good way to spend a few frustrating moments.

Santa Claus and Satan's Cause walks hand-in-hand with Santa Claus: The Great Imposter.

Dieting the Jesus way! Sweatin' to the Old Testament offers info on the Christian diet. Some of the titles of these diets include: "Slim for Him," "Help Lord - The Devil Wants Me Fat!" "More of Jesus, Less of Me" "Body by God" and of course "What Would Jesus Eat?"

Test Tube Jesus was not the first Jesus to get frisky with a dinosaur, as you can see from this artwork of sex w/dinosaurs, it's far more graphic than we thought.

Could Spidey have joined the dark side? Can he really be aligned with the forces of "intelligent design"? Via Orac Knows.

To keep things in perspective, sing along kareoke-style with Eric Idle to The Galaxy Song from Monty Python's 1983 film The Meaning of Life.