From Swayze with Shove

From: Jennifer.Swoboda
Date: 9/4/2006 9:00:13 PM
Subject: Your pick for the DUMBEST MOVIE EVER!!!
My personal pick for the "dumbest movie ever" would have to be "Roadhouse" with Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot. It is a favorite among male viewers in western Nebraska, so unfortunately, I've been exposed to this little cinematic "classic" waaaaaay more than I care to be! Share your thoughts on the barkers out there.
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From: Bonnie.Nicholson
Date: 9/5/2006 8:48:45 AM
One of the dumbest movies I have ever seen is The Grudge. It was built up to be this terribly scary, exciting movie, and it was absolutely awful. The only thing scary about it was the fact that I paid $6 to go see it. There are a lot of them out there, but this one takes the cake!
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From: John.Wyatt2
Date: 9/6/2006 7:59:27 PM
I LOVE Road House!! (Being male.) Besides, I like just about anything Patrick Swayzee has done (Even "Next of Kin").
But the worst of all time, in my humble opinion, is "Robot Monster." Even worse than Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space!" Robot Monster has aspace monster in a lousy gorilla suit with a fishbowl helmet, chasing after this poor woman hiding in a cave. I've never been able to watch more than about 15 minutes of that turkey!
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From: Robert.Jones59
Date: 9/6/2006 10:22:54 PM
Subject: Bugs and Clowns...
Ok I have two all time dumb/stupid/garbage/waste-o-money movies. You know the ones... the ones you rent because the original was good... or the dvd box looked interesting.
Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation: I liked the first one... all campy and looked like it was made to be silly. But the sequel... OMG it was down right garbage, bad acting, illogical stuff happening, and goofy props. Save your time and money.
Mr. Jingles: Ok the cover had a scary looking clown (like the Killer Clowns from Outerspace kind of scary). The story on the box made it sound sort of interesting and my son likes seing creepy clown movies. Well I lasted about a whole 2 minutes with this one.I looked like it was filmed on with a 80's VHS camera. And the acting, well i imagine that the actor negotiation was like "hey billy, wanna be in my movie I am filming in the morning?".
I like weird movies but these took the cake.
Robert
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From: TAMMY.OWSLEY
Date: 9/10/2006 2:52:52 AM
Thats easy, dumb, dumb and dumber. I know..Jim carey is awesome but as much as i try I can not like that movie. I like road house though, patrick swayzee is just a bonus to the movie. Another selection of dumb movies would be all the friday the 13 movies or freddy crugar really anything that entails chopping people into pieces, i just dont get. I like a scary movie when its a good one..Silent hill was a great movie. Weird but i liked it. Oh yeah the rob zombie movies(house of a thousand corpses and ther was one more after that...oh my, something is wrong with that guy..
Tamara
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From: Jennifer.Swoboda
Date: 9/11/2006 6:43:02 PM
Subject: Re: "Next of Kin"-LOL!
OMG! Liam Neeson has to want to crawl in a hole every time they re-run this hillbilly flick! Can you imagine? Unfortunately, this is regarded as another classic here in Nebraska. I have had the "pleasure" of seeing it at least three times. My brother is a hillbilly (for real) and he LOVES "Nest of Kin" and "Road House". You set him up with some adult beverages and a block of Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot movies and he's in heaven.
Jennifer Swoboda
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From: Ron.Berry3
Date: 10/18/2006 6:36:27 PM
Subject: Re: Your pick for the DUMBEST MOVIE EVER!!!
Yeah I apologize I like Roadhouse only for the soul reason I like to watch people get their butts kicked. Other than that the movie was horrible. The plot was weak but it was ok I suppose.
However my worst movie I have ever seen wuld be Waterworld starring and written by Kevin Costner. Now don't get me wrong I like him some what as an actor for instance his Robin Hood Prince of Theives role he played was outstanding. But he needs not to direct or write anything in the future.
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From: Jennifer.Swoboda
Date: 10/26/2006 8:06:47 PM
Subject: Re: My Pick for dumbest Movie isn't even out yet
This is so cool! Thanks for sharing the link with us! It is a pleasure to receive feedback from someone with first-hand knowledge of a truly bad flick.
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From: Patrick.Darnell
Date: 11/30/2006 11:26:20 AM
Subject: Re: Report from the Middle
This is funny... well maybe humorous, and if anyone does a fact check on me I claim memory fade!
This has to do with why we remember some things and forget others. I would like to set the record straighter. The Swayze’s are not, nor have ever been, Bad Boys.
I played football against Patrick Swayze in Houston high school ball. He was at Waltrip, when I was at Lamar. He was a linebacker, my job as offense guard was to detain him as much and as often as I could, which I did easily with joy.
My connection to Swayze’s: Official Patrick Swayze International Fan Club His mother Patsy Swayze is a well known choreographer of among others; Urban Cowboy, Thelma and Louise and Letters from a Killer) ran a huge dance studio, where my sister Sylvia religiously went to class in the 60’s. My sis is a great dancer for it.
Patrick and his brother are not bad boys in any stretch of the imagination... and that is why their movies suck. I am just an average schmuck, so that has to hurt, eh?
For instance: This is the list of Patrick Swayze DANCE SCHOOL OF COMPANIES: Houston Jazz Ballet Company, Harkness Ballet Theater School, New York; Joffrey Ballet Company; Eliot Feld Ballet Company via his international fan club site.
I think Patrick S. had to quit football due to his career... or something. I just know I missed the opportunity smashing him the next year when we played Waltrip. Patrick's brother, less famous, taller was skating the Houston Galleria Ice Rink one night 1970-ish when I and my sister and others were there ice skating. I skated up beside him and said "my sister goes to your mom's studio.” He replied "Oh, yeah?" Then I said I was having trouble ice skating... and he said: "You just move... let your body move, and he showed me extremely gracefully how to move the body and the feet naturally follow." Of course I was there to get his attention for my older sister, but I remember him as a genuinely nice guy, lanky but extremely graceful.
Too bad Swayze can do no better than play a part he is not suited for. He should be doing re-makes of Ginger and Fred movies.
My conclusion: Patrick Swayze was in a music video about Roxanne?? Or sort of a Jet/shark street fights knockoff. He was great in that role. The girl I recognized from the Swayze Studios, she was a bit too classy for the role in the music video... but those two should never have separated. Actually I think she might have married him; they would have danced their way to the 21st century. Dance Fever; American Idol; Celebrity boxing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Reality shows!!!!!!!!!!!! CTUOnline~/... instead Swayze is a cross-dressing , lonesome broke cowboy, serial killer on death row. I cannot believe the Swayzes aren't among the incredibly rich walking self-loathing today, 35 years later.
P. Swayze is one out of about five millions of us who are famous for no other reason than we grew up strong, married the right person, had great kids cars and dogs, and have paid all our taxes. I cannot relate to Swayze's roles in movies. Something needs to be said for working class and how it is not represented anywhere. I cannot remember a working class actor since....? The movie career of Swayze: what a waste of time and talent.
That's my report from the middle.... here in Bryan, Texas, "...where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and our children are all above average." Patrick Darnell
Swayze MOVIES: This is scary to think about:
Skate town U.S.A. - "Ace" 1979
The Outsiders - "Darrel Curtis" 1983
Uncommon Valor - "Kevin Scott" 1983
Grandview U.S.A. - "Ernie (Slam) Webster" 1984
(Patrick and Lisa choreographers)
Red Dawn - "Jed Eckert" 1984
Youngblood - "Derek Sutton" 1986
Steel Dawn - "Nomad" 1987
Dirty Dancing - "Johnny Castle" 1987
Tiger Warsaw - "Chuck (Tiger) Warsaw" 1988
Road House - "Dalton" 1989
Next of Kin - "Truman Gates" 1989
Ghost - "Sam Wheat" 1990
Point Break - "Bodhi" 1991
City of Joy - "Dr. Max Lowe" 1992
Father Hood - "Jack Charles" 1993
Tall Tale - The Unbelievable Adventures of Pecos Bill - "Pecos Bill" 1994
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar - "Vida Boheme" 1995
Three Wishes - "Jack McCloud" 1995
Letters from a Killer - "Race Darnell" 1998
Black Dog - "Jack Crews" 1998
Forever Lulu (aka Along for the Ride) - "Ben Clifton" 2000
Donnie Darko - "Jim Cunningham" 2001
The Green Dragon - "Sgt. Jim Lance" 2002
Waking Up In Reno - "Roy Kirkendall" 2002
One Last Dance - "Travis MacPhearson" 2003
(Patrick also Producer)
11:14 - "Frank" 2003
George and the Dragon - "Garth" 2004
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights - "Dance Class Instructor (cameo)" 2004
Keeping Mum - "Lance" 2005
Jump! (filming completed June2006 - now in post-production) - "Richard Pressburger "
[PD MPW, 12.2006]

Building a Small Business in Spectacular Times

• 
  
  
  Correlations and Questions: WAG for Nags, things to ponder while building your business
  by Patrick Darnell
  PIGGYBANK is actually an acronym for the frustrated academician who has been left behind by those who pander the reality found in hard statistical analysis.
  P.I.G.G.Y.B.A.N.K.
  “Patterns in geometric gain yield bountiful academic nosegays of knowledge.”
  Or,
  “Probably, investigation gives geographic yields to bolster against ineffectual knowledge.”
  
  P (Platonic’s) What may make the oriental culture so good at math, is the formidable task of learning the complexity inherent in their pictographic, written languages. Correlation: The number of pictographs in a language, or pictorial iconography may determine the height of that particular culture’s logic system.
  
  I (Interest) Tee shirt cotton & Denim, total sales and the advent of European Union for a one world uniform. Correlation: Just who makes all the denim, anyway? I want to buy stock in that company.
  
  G (Greed) Need for Casual Friday vs. the advent of the 32 hour work week. Correlation: The fewer hours worked in the week, the more hours one must spend doing side work, while others enjoy leisure-tronics.
  
  G (Gas Planets) Does the lag time in the Judicial system define its demise? Correlation: does the number of years the Judicial system lags behind technologic advances, relate to the number of years of stagnation in the US economy?
  
  Y (Yellow/Green Politics) What if possible to introduce a variety of aardvark into Texas to rid the prairies of red ants? Correlation: What quantity of aardvarks is needed to thrive in Texas to deter the spread of the red ant, by half?
  
  B (Bureaucracy). Why is Fiber-optics about the beginning of non-regulation of communications? Correlation: Do Communications ever return to the hands of the general public, who are party to size of optic bandwidth, available to communication moguls.
  
  A (Angst). What is the dollar amount per newborn child, with all variables of mortality figured in, that each innocent human owes on the US national debt at birth? Correlation: The inverse relationship of the interest payments on the national debt, to the increase in US population will make a pool, of how many taxpayers to pay into the coffers in the next twenty years.
  
  N (Nitrogen based fuel) How many carbon atoms are used in ignition of total SUV’s internal combustion engines throughout USA? Correlation: One SUV in a hundred will be outside the normal operating standards for air purity, and what is the ‘straw that will break the Ozone’s back? Is this true?
  
  K (Pawn to King) Yes, and, how many roads must a man walk down, before others will call him a man?
  
  Summary
  I have determined that while I have a crude knowledge now of the world just outside my understanding, that it is just that, a glimpse. I would stake much on the exponential increase in knowledge, as the middle ground of human’s wakes up to the expanding knowledge bases of every enterprise. Can an explosion of this magnitude be under-studied by, for example, me, the frustrated academician?
  
  Consider the decade in which we are living:
  
  Ahead of schedule, the statistics community has mapped the human genome.
  Before even a 386 could be decidedly put into a garbage dump legally, statisticians have put a Pentium Four in a package the size of a gnat’s eyebrow.
  My child’s Neo Pet has more processing power than the Mercury rocket program, of the 1960’s.
  There is an international space station orbiting the earth.
  I have forgotten more word processing than my children will ever know.
  
  Just a reminder, I will be there if you need a friend, only I might not have up to date information. Maybe that is also a disclaimer, if you later find a hole in my logic. Ciao.
  
  _______________________________________References/ Notes/ Links
  Why You Really Ought to Want to Love Your Work
  Part 1: Are You Working Long Hours on the Right Career?
  You Work Long Hours
  http://humanresources.about.com/od/motivationrewardretention/l/aalove_work.htm
  “The average American manager works 42 hours per week, but a substantial number of managers and professionals - three in 10, or 10.8 million people - work 49 or more hours per week. Of male managers and professionals, four in 10 work 49 hours. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics, May 2000 report, this number of working hours is substantially unchanged since 1989. More managers and professionals are working over 49 hours, but more are also working less which keeps the number steady.”
  
  “Comparatively, the hours that people work in non-supervisory or production jobs have steadily declined since the early 1960s in all categories except manufacturing, construction, and mining. In these jobs, hours have increased, according to the U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics Monthly Labor Review, July 2000. While the overall trend in working hours is down, with the average non-supervisory or production employee working 34.5 hours in 1999 as compared to 38.7 in 1964, this figure is skewed by workers in services and especially retail, who are working substantially fewer hours.”
  
  http://www.langevinonline.com/index.asp?Ad=G502&gclid=CJPR0rDY5IMCFTM9OAodEBT79w
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  http://spaceflightnow.com/shuttle/sts106/
  STS-106/2A.2B • Atlantis Launch date: September 8, 2000Welcome to Spaceflight Now's comprehensive coverage of shuttle mission STS-106, the next flight to the international space station. This is your gateway to extensive, up-to-the-minute coverage and background information -- including detailed timelines, statistical data and real-time updates -- unavailable anywhere else on the World Wide Web. These pages will be updated daily to reflect the very latest information so be sure to check in often. Comments, suggestions and corrections welcome!
  http://www.genome.gov/
  Read the story behind the Human Genome Project, the NHGRI-led, international research effort that sequenced all of the genes in a human being, revealing our complete genetic blueprint and opening a new and exciting world of research in genetics and genomics.
  
  
  
  

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Branson

Paul McCartney Visits The Ozarks:
"Yeah, I know, I can’t get too jazzed up about it either..."
By Jack Pribek
August 14, 2008

This is kind of funny. Last weekend, as I was driving back from the gig in Springfield with Allen (bass player TNH). Allen, who happens to be a huge Beatles fan, was telling me he heard a rumor that Paul McCartney (shown below on the left) had been hanging around in Branson.

At Left: "OKay, now we would like to play ghost Riders fer yoo..."

Now, you hear all kinds of goofy rumors around here but, I figured that this one might have some legs because, I’d read somewhere that McCartney was doing the Route 66 trip. Route 66 runs through Springfield which is 45 minutes from Branson. And, Louise Harrison, George’s sister, lives in town so, why not?

Saw this from Shirley Halperin of the Hollywood Insider this morning.

Though he’s been spotted this month getting his kicks on a road trip along the original Route 66, fans may be most intrigued by a detour Paul McCartney took to Branson, MO — home to the Yakov Smirnoff comedy show, the Oak Ridge Boys Theater, and possibly, a Beatles museum.

O.K., you got know something. Any time you see anybody, from LA/New York writing anything about Branson, they are going to take a little condescending tone. And, it usually starts by pointing out that folks like Yakov or the Oaks perform here.

And it is what it is. Those guys do play Branson and there are a ton of people that come to town every year to see them. For the record, I’ve never run in to any Oak Ridge Boys but, I’ve met Yakov a couple of times and seems to be a swell guy.

Years ago, my wife had a cell phone and the number was something like 334-1234. One day, I was working out in the yard and the phone rings and it was Yakov. He was saying that he was just sitting around and dialed the number because he thought it was cool. He said, “What would it take for you to let me have this number?” Too funny, because he wanted the number and he was hitting me with all of this polyester suit, car salesman, closing question dialog and in that Russian accent.

It was pretty surreal. I didn’t know what to tell him because it was the wife’s phone and, what do you charge somebody for a cell phone number? So, I told him to call back and he never did. But later, I saw an ad for the show or, something Yakov related, and the phone number was something like 335-1234.

I don’t know if I have the numbers right but, the 1234 part was the deal. I just always wondered if he hung up the phone with me and just started calling more 1234 numbers until he got someone that would go for it.

Anyway back to Paul McCartney. So, the Hollywood Insider says that a Beatles Museum might be coming to the Ozarks. Go figure.

A local source says Macca visited Louise Harrison, the sister of George Harrison and the owner of Branson’s Starlite Theater, where Beatles tribute band Liverpool Legends appear regularly. No word on what the two discussed, but an obvious topic would be the Beatles museum Harrison has long planned to open in the tourist town using her own memorabilia collection.

The “obvious topic”, yeah could be anything. They may have been just saying hi, having some crumpets, who knows? But, just think; a Beatles Museum! filled with memorabilia!

Yeah, I know, I can’t get too jazzed up about it either. “These are the cuff links that John Lennon wore on Shindig”. That sort of thing. But, people around here get all giddy about this kind of stuff because every dollar in this economy is tied to tourism and the logic is always, “Hey, they drive from Chicago to see the Oak Ridge Boys. Surely, more will come to see Ringo Starr’s toothbrush”.

Harrison’s partners say the museum might open this fall. Branson has been trying to upgrade its kitschy image — could a blessing from an actual Beatle be the city’s ticket to ride?

And there you have it. The old Hollywood Insider, Shirley Halperin, hits Branson with the smarmy little, botox infused, dig. Like I say, it’s nothing new.

But, I got to say, I haven’t heard one person saying anything about upgrading the kitschy image. I’ve never heard the word “kitschy” uttered by anybody in these parts. And, a “blessing from an actual Beatle”? Well, nobody would turn that down would they? I guarantee that none of these local cats, that have been picking the pockets of patronizing carpetbaggers since before old H. Bell wrote the book, are going to turn down a blessing from a Beatle.

And you know, we might just pack a lunch and head over to town to take a look at Paul McCartney’s toenail clippers our own selves.

1. Kenski wrote,

   Over Christmas my mother-in-law got all hot under the collar to show me the incredible, huuuuuge new Titanic experience thingy in Branson. I was keen to get some cheap t-shirts from the Target up there (hey, it’s Target, ok?) so I agreed. We drove all the way out there from Nixa… to see the outside of a big grey box…

   I’m sure it was something, just not to me. And the coffee from the coffee-shop up there… not good. Really, not good.

   AND Target didn’t have the t’s I wanted in my size.

   I’m not dissing Branson, just calling it the way I see it.

   Link | August 14th, 2008 at 10:27 am

1. Phull Phathom Phive wrote,

   “They paved a pair a’ dikes,
   and put Beatles in a museum…
   charged a buck and a half
   just to see ‘em…”

   “And I will follow you all the way home!” Oh yeah.. but I was only in Branson for about thirty minutes when I dropped you off there in the middle of the night… [I forgot your best buddy's and his wife's names?] was with us, and drove back to Washington with me.

   on the radio…. Wilbur and the Web Spinners says, “Wow it’s almost Friday again here at the XXL Beef and Bean Burrito Boutique.” Imagine that! and a Beatles Museum, Abbey Road and all.

   Link | August 14th, 2008 at 3:59 pm

2. Pribek wrote,

   Kenski-that’s a crazy ass webcam with the zoom feature. I caught a truck driver picking his nose. And……On one hand I feel sympathy for you going through that traumatic experience. On the other hand…well it’s pretty funny.

   J-”hacked by emo-terrorists” good one. All I will say is that the rugby discussion threw me off my game for a couple of days.

   Pat0 you need to spend some time in Branson. I would recommend the huuuuuge new Titanic experience thingy, it will blow your mind.

   Link | August 14th, 2008 at 6:58 pm

3. Phelps Phan and Phriends wrote,

   Can I eat it?

   Link | August 15th, 2008 at 1:41 am

( "Paul McCartney Visits The Ozarks" by Pribek was published on August 14th, 2008 and is listed in Celebrity, Hunh?, Local Jive, News. ) ...somehow edited by Pat Darnell 08.15.2008